My Psychic Feud With Yvette Fielding Part Two

The Story So Far:

I, Terry Strange, voted 18th most popular celebrity paranormal detective in the world, had been invited to join the TV presenters on Most Haunted. I would be working alongside Derek Acorah (genuine psychic powers) and Yvette Fielding (ex-Blue Peter, probably not genuine psychic powers, screams a lot) and the Other Bloke Who Says He Is A Skeptic. However due to an administrative oversight on my part (I should've seen that coming aha ha ha ha) I had mislaid the letter from the producer asking me to be #1 Psychic on the show and was kept back in the small crowd of general public gathered excitedly round the Most Haunted truck.

Now, from what I remember this was in Doncaster. Or was it County Durham? So many years have rolled by and still my psychic feud with Fielding continues. She really bears a grudge that girl!

I had established that the late 'slap and tickle hows your father' comedian Benny Hill was her spirit guide though I could tell that Fielding didn't know this. If she did she would surely have gone on and on at length about it on the program. My own spirit guide Garry said Benny Hill was still spending his time chasing large groups of half-naked lady ghosts around a park in the afterlife and was probably too busy to psychically get in touch with Fielding in the usual supernatural way that spirit guides do.

In that case then why was Fielding always going on about 'asking ghosts to show themselves' and/or squealing at the slightest sound? Yes, she is a girl, but she must surely be making it up if her actual spirit guide was busy running around after lady ghosts and not assisting her.

I once more fought my way thru the crowd to the security guard, no mean feat when one is wearing a long cape covered in moons and stars and a viking helmet. I asked to speak directly with Derek Acorah, as we are personal friends (well, technically my spirit guide Garry is friends with Derek's spirit guide Sam). The security guard said the program was about to start filming and Derek was 'tuning his aura using transcendental meditation'.
I used my own psychic abilties to discern that Derek was actually sat on the bog in the Most Haunted truck, having a crafty fag and reading The Sun, lingering over page 3.

It was at that point that Fielding stepped down from the Most Haunted truck (to about three cheers from the Acorah-worshippers) and saw me in the crowd

"Terry Strange" she said, in her loud squeaky voice and looked directly at me "Guard, seize him!"

I knew then that things were going to take a turn for the worse (in Part Three)

Terry Strange

My Psychic Feud With Yvette Fielding From Most Haunted

Many people will only know Yvette Fielding from the time she had a denim jacket and a mullet on Blue Peter.

However, apart from a celebrity edition of Come Dine With Me, her career did not end there.

No, for some time Yvette Fielding also pretended to be 'medium-ish' or 'medium-esque' on Most Haunted, TV's popular Derek Acorah vehicle, until he was unfortunately sacked.

It was during the 'Acorah Years' as we in the Psychic Community Of Golden Spirits call them in which I, Terry Strange, paranormal detective and spiritual genius came into conflict with Yvette Fielding.

Although Fielding does not know it, she has a Guardian Angel called Baz and her spirit guide is none other than the late comedian Benny Hill.

I sensed this immediately many years ago, when I, Terry Strange, journeyed to see Most Haunted Live to offer my own mighty talents in assisting these amateurs (apart from Derek) in their quest to hunt ghosts.

I had been asked to join the Most Haunted TV team by their producer at the time, however due to a psychic attack by a Satanic demon I had accidentally put the invitation letter in the recycling bin the week before and was unable to produce it to the large man on security duty. His mind was closed to the ways of the psychic -  meaning I was unable to influence him with my awesomely brilliant hypnotic powers of the Third Mind.

It was at this point Yvette Fielding appeared from the Most Haunted trailer, to the screams of the general public gathered around the security fence. I was jostled by the middle aged women around me and immediately was able to see a rotund little man following Fielding out of the truck wearing a beret and doing a strange salute, though nobody else could.

My own spirit guide Garry confirmed that this was Yvette Fielding's spirit guide, the late mildly pornographic comedian, Benny Hill.  Benny Hill's spirit had actually been watching Fielding taking a shower in the Most Haunted truck moments before, and was quite excited.


I knew then that Yvette Fielding was in a whole universe of psychic trouble

To be continued

Terry Strange